Rejected Sorting Hat Song
by ColourInfinity
Summary: Just what the title says; it's the Sorting Hat Song that you won't hear at Hogwarts. My vain attempot at humor. Plz R&R!! (Chapter 2 = A second attempt from the Sorting Hat)
1. The Song Dumbledore Rejected

Hi. I'm The Sorting Hat. My job, as you may know, other than Sorting, is writing catchy Sorting songs. I think I was in an odd mood when I wrote this. I'm not sure what I was thinking. Well, I submitted it to Dumbledore anyway, and he rejected it. (What a meany!) Said I wasn't thinking, and shouldn't have written it. I say! Well, enough about me and my non-thinking self, on with the thing I shouldn't have written. I call it:  
  
THE REJECTED SORTING HAT SONG  
  
Oh, I'm the Sorting Hat, you see  
  
Where I place you, there you'll be.  
  
The Hogwarts Houses is where you'll find  
  
People, friends, with your kind of mind  
  
Slytherin, perhaps, is where you'll go,  
  
Where all go evil, don't you know  
  
The founder here was deviously smart,  
  
Placing a monster in Hogwarts' heart  
  
Or how about Ravenclaw,  
  
Never being seen, the only flaw  
  
No one knows who you are  
  
Not even that famous boy with the scar  
  
Will it be in Hufflepuff, that you'll find your kin?  
  
They may be loyal, but all so terribly dim  
  
Your robes in Quidditch are an ugly yellow  
  
The best in your number was killed, poor fellow  
  
Or maybe Gryffindor is where you should be,  
  
Being overshadowed by fame most times, you'll see  
  
Everyone will always want you to save the school  
  
But most times, you'll just end up looking the fool  
  
So why don't you just turn tail right now  
  
Beauxbatons, Durmstrang seem better, somehow!  
  
Remind yourself why Hogwarts seemed fit,  
  
The Muggle School near you closed, didn't it?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER: JKR owns all. But the Bananas are mine. 


	2. Sorting Hat Song

Okay. My last Sorting Hat Song, Dumbledore didn't really appreciate. Claimed it gave the school a bad name. Hey, I was just telling it like it is! So, yeah, he made me rewrite it. This is the latest version, but before I send it up to Dumbledore, I want to hear what my public thinks. So, if you could review, that would be wonderful! Thanks!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
~Today is a very special day! ~  
  
~I'm to sort all you first years! ~  
  
~It's a once a year chance for me! ~  
  
~So shut your mouths, and sit your rears. ~  
  
*Very few people know my tale*  
  
*'Cause it hasn't been told in quite a while. *  
  
*There are the minds of four people in my head*  
  
*My, Schizophrenia is such a trial. *  
  
~Almost a thousand years ago this day ~  
  
~Godric pulled me off his head to say ~  
  
~A lot about bravery, honour, and trust ~  
  
~Traits all Gryffindors should have, they must. ~  
  
*Then Rowena sidled up close to me *  
  
*Shy, quiet, she whispered unseen. *  
  
*Her house was to be wise, witty and smart, *  
  
*Unobtrusive and shy, with a caring heart. *  
  
~Helga then walked up to the table ~  
  
~As quickly as her legs were able. ~  
  
~In quite a loud voice, that hurt my ear ~  
  
~Justice, loyalty would make her House dear. ~  
  
*But the one that I remember the most *  
  
*Takes two verses for his story to be told *  
  
*Salazar was the one who came the last *  
  
*He spoke quietly, slowly, and yet very fast. *  
  
~He wanted ambition to be a key trait. ~  
  
~He wanted vigilance in his students to come. ~  
  
~But his demands, inexperienced with Lady Fate ~  
  
~Would form a House many people would shrink from. ~  
  
*So now you know, my story is clear. *  
  
*Trust me, my dears, there is nothing to fear. *  
  
*It's your turn to be sorted, come up one by one*  
  
*You'll soon find that 'Housing' is such noxious fun. *  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
(Ok, I admit it. I'm not the Sorting Hat. I'm really not. I wish I had those skills, though. But please review anyway!)  
  
Disclaimer: JKR owns all. But the Bananas belong to me. 


End file.
